


Harry Styles: The Undefined Pop Star

by polaropposites



Series: Out Articles [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-19
Updated: 2012-12-19
Packaged: 2017-11-21 13:35:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/598337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polaropposites/pseuds/polaropposites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He has captured the hearts of girls and guys alike, conquered the world with his four best mates, had two number one albums across the globe and now Harry Styles is here to talk about how none of those things compare to the greatest achievement in his life.</p><p>My take on what I imagine an Out article featuring Harry would read like. Pretty much just a faux interview with a freshly out the closet Harry Styles</p>
            </blockquote>





	Harry Styles: The Undefined Pop Star

If you sit down with Harry Styles, you can sense his old soul from the moment he smiles at you. We sat out on the balcony of his flat and he offered me tea the moment I walked through the door. The apartment is decorated with subtle blues and muted browns; it’s really the house of an adult. There’s no swing in the middle of the living room and no massive bar taking up one of the walls in the dining room; it’s elegant and tasteful. The exact opposite of what you would expect from an international popstar who hasn’t entered his twenties yet. 

Harry was barely 17 when One Direction’s fame suddenly skyrocketed. The British – Irish boyband had taken third place on X-factor and although they were picked up by Simon Cowell, there was no indicator of what their success would be. Young girls were already in love with them, adults even found them endearing and talented. It was a perfect mixture for success, but they needed to make it big in the States before they took themselves seriously. This meant non-stop work for a group of boys; of which most of them wouldn’t even be considered legal in America.

Harry was pulled away from his family and moved to London to record tracks and do publicity. He thinks this largely contributed to his quick mental development and deep understanding of himself. He remembers how he used to stare at his phone and have internal debates about whether or not calling his mum would make it easier or harder for him. “I missed her and I felt bad because Gemma had just left home and I followed right after. I wanted to know if she was okay and then I also wanted her to help me be okay too.” Harry attempted to distance himself, so in the chance that they did make it big, he would know that he could be okay without the constant support from his family. Instead, he discovered that he would have the constant support of his newly acquired brothers — the guys who would be going through the exact same thing as him.

“I’d like to think that a huge part of my growth is that I took all of the best parts from the lads around me and made them a part of myself. I took a hold of Liam’s responsibility, Zayn’s privacy, Niall’s carefree tendencies, and Louis’ ability to keep up appearances,” he stops to smile, shuffling his feet and staring at the floor. “I owe them a lot. I am a good person because they helped me stay true to myself throughout all of this. I love them more than I think they’ll ever know. They’re everything you could hope for in a best mate. They helped me grow up and although this entire fame thing turned me into a bit of an old man they still love me.”

The great thing about working with the younger generations is that they are incredibly candid. You expect to exchange niceties, ask about the new music and how their career is developing, but Harry Styles would have none of it. He made it clear that it was unnecessary to touch upon every faucet of his past before touching on what I was there for — talking to him about coming out.

This past November, One Direction released their new album Take Me Home. After their seemingly immediate success in the States, they had come back for press as soon as the album was released. One Direction had interviews with radio stations and even with Ellen DeGeneres, and the one thing they all had in common, was that everyone wanted to know who was gay and who wasn’t. Harry just chuckled each time, shaking his head and swinging his curls before charming the interviewer onto the next question.

It was a professional transition that even I envied, never seeing something go so smoothly, especially not when initiated by a 19 year old. When I present this thought to Harry, he gives me this knowing smile and suddenly I feel as though I am a teenager lacking in knowledge of the world. “It always seems to come back to how young I am, as though my maturity is directly related to the amount of years I’ve been alive. I wonder how it’s something people still don’t get. I was seen spending time with a woman who was almost twice my age. My best mate has been Nick Grimshaw and he’s a good nine years older as well. I’m different than most 19 year olds.”

“Well, you are different. You’re a popstar whose rich, famous, and gay; it’s a bigger difference than most people think,” I say.

“It’s never just been about that. It’s never been about the fame or the wealth; that was luck. Being tossed together in a group with 4 other lads wasn’t skill or talent, it was fate,” he says, staring off into space. “I meant different in the sense that I don’t really care what people think anymore. I don’t care for the partying and dancing in clubs. I still love to drink, I mean, what 19 year old British lad doesn’t? But I do it differently, surrounded by people who joke about all the mistakes they’ve made in their lives and the dreams they haven’t obtained as opposed to my peers who get so pissed they pass out in club bathrooms.”

“Is being gay, not a really big descriptor for you?”

“No, not really. I don’t think who I love defines me. How I love them and why they love me? Maybe. But the fact that I’m gay? No.”

If you haven’t seen the interview where Harry casually tosses his hands up and mutters “I’m gay,” you’re probably the only person left in the world. The moment almost appeared crass as he nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders like he hadn’t admitted to one of the darkest secrets in the industry. When I phrase it like that, he smiles and shakes his head.

“I’ve never thought it was a big deal, I don’t think it is a big deal. I never wanted to hide it. I think that’s the problem — the issue in this industry. Who you love is not a big deal. What you do and whether or not you do it well, is.”

“Are you saying that you believe the release of a new single is something that should be taken more seriously than your sexuality?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. I don’t think who I love is a big deal. I never understood the obsession with who I’m taking to bed at night. It doesn’t relate to the lads and the music we’re making. I’ve been tired of getting questions about my sexuality while at interviews that are supposed to be about the music and all of us, not just me,” he replies. “We were young when we came into the industry, but even then I knew all the questions about romances and bromance weren’t relevant to the band, to our music.”

Bromance is a word all of the guys from One Direction are familiar with. Zarry, Lilo, Niam are all ships that combine Harry, Zayn, Louis, Liam, and Niall together in some way. The biggest of all these bromances is Larry Stylinson, which is composed of Harry Styles and his band mate and best friend Louis Tomlinson. When asked about Louis, Harry just rearranges his hair and sits back in the chair. “I don’t know where to start with him — with our friendship.”

“Friendship then,” I ask, but before he can answer he’s excusing himself as someone enters the flat. It’s a few moments before he comes back, inviting me into the kitchen so we can chat as he cooks dinner.

“I don’t know what it is really” he starts, taking out peppers and beginning to cut them. “He’s everything to me. He’s the greatest moment of my life, the biggest achievement I’ve ever had. So I guess, not just friendship.”

He smiles as I stare at him, mouth agape, trying to pull together the pieces before I just mumble out an incoherent question. Harry Styles just suggested that what he had with his bandmate was more than just friendship and before I could ask, the man in questioned walked through the door and into the kitchen.

“Sorry for interrupting” Louis says casually, working around Harry in a way that screams domesticated, entirely too comfortable for two boys who go by the label of best mates. 

“You’re all for nonchalance aren’t you,” I ask.

“I am only 19.” Harry answers, smiling and kissing Louis on the mouth while I furiously scribble down all of my thoughts. I didn’t know at first, if this was what they wanted. If they wanted their relationship to be made public by an article in Out, but as Louis sat down next to me, I knew my single interview had turned into a double. He didn’t really think it was a big deal, neither of them did.

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson have a fandom for their relationship that is so large that it could easily populate a small country. For as long as One Direction has existed, there have been people trying to fit the pieces together to see how the two actually worked. There are stories of love at first sight and fate, but both of them shake their heads and laugh at the romantic nature of all of the rumors.

“We met for the first time in a bathroom! I don’t quite see what’s so romantic about that,” Louis says, although the smile on his face says that it was obviously one of the greatest moments of his life.

“What about The Script concert and being thrown together in a band. You don’t see anything akin to fairy tales in that?”

“Luck,” Harry responds, and suddenly that 17BLACK tattoo on his chest makes more sense. He laughs when I ask him about the tattoos, confirming that yes; the Hi is actually Louis’ handwriting.

From in the closet pop star to romantically involved, gay man may seem like a long journey to most, but Harry doesn’t think so and that speaks measures about the changes we’re seeing.”I’m only 19, what long journeys could I have possibly been on already? It’s no great change really.”

Where getting a star to admit they were gay used to be a war with numerous battles, there’s a new generation that doesn’t find the news any more exciting than your regular traffic report. It’s a new development, that sexuality and love isn’t so much a defining characteristic as much as it’s just something that happens.

For millions of teens everywhere, the heartthrob Harry Styles is an idol, but now, to some gay teenagers and even closeted men, he’s a hero. Harry refuses the title. “I’m not a hero, I’ve done nothing special. I’ve fallen in love with someone. I’ve told the world. It’s only a big deal because other people want to make it out that way.” He pauses. “The people who go out and counsel gays who need advice, the suicide line volunteers and the groups that participate in the Day of Silence, those people are heroes. I’ve done nothing to deserve the title.”

One thing Harry is happy about, is being able to become an advocate for organizations that do promote acceptance and equality. He was often seen wearing a shirt, before he came out, with the phrase “Love is equal”, trying to show his support even when he couldn’t say the words. When asked if he would believe himself a hero once he started contributing, he says no again. “The kids who come out at school even though they are surrounded by bullies and homophobes — those are heroes. I will never be a hero, no matter how many equal love campaigns I’m a part of, or how much money I donate. It’s all easy for me, there’s no struggle. I am no hero.” He continues to throw together dinner while brushing off compliments and it’s an honor to sit in front of a young man so in tune with who he is.

Right now, he’s in love with Louis Tomlinson, they share a flat and live in blissful domesticity. Harry doesn’t think that anything has changed. They are still making music with the other lads, performing concerts and signing autographs. All the people he cared about already knew, Harry had come out of the closet long before raising his hand in an interview. There’s been no life adjustments, now he’s just patiently waiting for the media frenzy to blow over so he can just live his dream without any extra attention.

We happen to stumble upon the topic of the success of One Direction — debuting number 1 with the first album they released, having the number 1 preordered single in the industry — but when faced with these statistics Harry just smiles “ it’s all the fans. They make us great. They help us continue to do what we love the most and I’ll be forever grateful.” 

He often reflects on the things that have happened to him, says that the majority of it feels surreal. “We sang at the Olympics. Performed at our first VMAs. Won a Brit. Scored a Grammy nomination. It’s all insane. It’s like a dream. I spend a lot of my time wondering when I’m going to wake up because this can’t possibly be real. I can’t possibly be allowed to be this happy.”

Although he spends so much time contemplating the greatness of his career, Harry doesn’t need to think to know what has been the greatest moment of all of them. “Finding Louis. Hands down. There’s no question. Convincing him somehow that I was worthy of his love, has been the greatest accomplishment of my life.”


End file.
